Conundrum

I've tried various religions,
I've tried all kinds of drugs,
I've ruined my liver with alcohol,
and still, after 56 years of trying,
the more I yearn to understand,
the less I know...

The only true things I feel
are sitting, rocking on the porch
late at night, watching the fire-flies;
or, walking in the morning fog,
letting the dew-soaked grass
polish my shoes...