Iscaroit

"To thine own self be true"
has been my lifelong creed.
And, yet,

I lie,
I cheat,
and I betray,

the one person left I owe allegiance to...

Myself.

"Why?" you might ask,
"I don't know!" I would answer.
Is the reality

too real,
too honest,
or too unpleasant?

What is and where are my thirty pieces of silver?