Gobble ‘til you wobble!

I slept lousy on Thanksgiving eve, with insomnia kicking in around 2:00 AM. I finally fell back asleep around 5:00 and slept until 7:00.

I put on a pot of coffee and put a load in the washer. I warmed up some of that white sausage gravy and ate it over a piece of buttered toast (the biscuits were long gone).

I had the Thanksgiving parade from Detroit on the TV and watched it whenever I could.

I decided to continue my dinner prep and the first thing I did was to sharpen all my knives. Then I thinly sliced two leeks. I tried something different for washing the leeks. I sliced them and put them in a big bowl of water. I swished them around a bit and let them sit (the theory is that any sand falls to the bottom of the bowl). Then I put them in my salad spinner to extract any excess water.

I sautéed them in butter and olive oil. When they were getting soft, I pulled them off the heat and let them cool. I reserved 1/2 cup for my side dish and put the rest back in the big bowl (after I washed it). To that, I added four stalks of celery I sliced. I didn’t sauté the celery as I think I want the crunch in my dressing (did I mention I’m making this recipe up?) Then I quartered the button mushrooms left over from the slow cooker tuna and pasta casserole. I sautéed them and let them cool as well.

Next I cut four thick strips of bacon into lardons and cooked them until they were just starting to get crunchy. I drained them on paper towels and added them to the bowl.

Jacob called to wish me a happy Thanksgiving and we talked for a while. Since I was already on the couch and it was after 10:00 AM, I called Lu in Florida and Sadie in Virginia to wish them both a happy Thanksgiving as well.

Then B___ called. He was NOT having a happy Thanksgiving. His furnace completely died during the night and he was supposed to have 13 people coming for dinner. He had a space heater in the one bathroom and was cooking the 18 pound turkey in the oven more for heat than for dinner.

Then I made a mixture of one cup of heavy cream, 1/4 cup of melted butter and one beaten egg. I tossed in a bag of Pepperidge Farm cubed herb stuffing, mixed it well and let it sit and get happy for 10 minutes. Then I added the sautéed leeks, mushrooms, chopped celery, bacon, some snipped chives and about 1/2 cup of grated Gruyere cheese. I mixed everything together and put it in my buttered casserole dish. Once the oven was preheated to 350 degrees, I put the casserole dish in the oven and set the timer for 30 minutes.

Melissa called to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving. She is decorating their tree while Dave is watching the Lions football game (I have it on here, too). She had what I considered to be a brilliant idea for putting on the Christmas tree lights. They always buy a fresh-cut tree and I can remember, back in the day, what a pain stringing the lights was. It really takes two people. But, she got some of those net lights they sell to put on your outside bushes. So, she just drapes the net over the tree!

My dressing was done when we were talking so I pulled it out for a while. Then I put it back in the oven to keep warm.

After we hung up, I rolled the grille out around back to the patio (I normally do this on the garage apron). Timing will be everything with this dinner, and that way I could see when the smoke stopped and I needed to add more wood chips (soaking in a bucket) and/or charcoal and not leave the kitchen. I got the charcoal lit and the grille set up for indirect smoking.

Then I took the turkey breast out of the fridge. My brother Carl called to express his holiday wishes. He’s going up to Kal and Hannah’s. He mentioned my brother Jim had tried to call me, but couldn’t get through. I checked the messages and found both Jim and my brother Joe had called when I was talking to Melissa. So, I called them both back.

Then it was onto the turkey. I rinsed off the brine and stuck my compound sage butter under the skin in several places. I cut up an apple, a lemon, a carrot, a celery stick and a whole head of garlic.

After I cleaned the grates and oiled them, I stuffed the cavity with some of the veggies and put the rest of them around the turkey. Then I inserted my meat thermometer and set it for 160 degrees. I had a wild hair (Jake said the idea was “sketchy” when I ran it by him earlier) and draped thick-cut bacon over the turkey breast. I thought it might “self baste” that way and might give a good flavor to the turkey. I may have screwed up this year’s bird, but you never know until you try (see photos).

It was just after I took that photo that I realized I didn’t put in the drip pan I had bought! Luckily, I was able to maneuver it under the grates and around the hot charcoal.

Then, I cut up about two pounds of unpeeled Yukon Gold potatoes (I want this to be creamy, BTW. If you want mashed potatoes to be fluffy, use Russets.) Then I peeled three parsnips. I am making these proportions up, BTW. I saw this done once on a cooking show, but could not find the recipe with the ratio of potatoes to parsnips. I put the potatoes in a colander and rinsed them off repeatedly (to get rid of some of the starch). Then the potatoes and parsnips were put in a large pan with cold water and brought to a boil. I simmered them until the parsnips were fork tender (about 15-20 minutes).

Meanwhile, I was still adding woodchips and checking the thermometer. When the potatoes and parsnips were done, I drained them and returned them to the pot over low heat, stirring them to dry them out.


I ran the now drained and dried potatoes and parsnips through the food mill (you could also use a ricer, but I don’t have one). This takes care of the potato peels and the stringiness of the parsnips. I had already melted eight tablespoons of butter (one stick) in a saucepan and added one cup of heavy cream.

I folded in the warm cream mixture and covered the pan, adding it to the warm oven.

Then I got started on the gravy. This was originally from an old Family Circle recipe (my Mother used to get that magazine, BTW). I cut it in half as the original recipe made eight cups of gravy! So, I melted three tablespoons of butter in a large-sized sauce pan. Then I added in three cups of chicken broth.

You were supposed to now use a large bowl with a pouring spout. Not having one, I used my four-cup measuring cup. In that I put one cup of chicken stock, 1/2 teaspoon of what they called “Gravy Starter” (which only means Kitchen Bouquet) and 1/3 cup of white flour (I used AP flour, but they suggested using something called “Wondra” if you wanted the gravy thicker). I was whisking all that together when the phone rang (around 5:30 PM).

It was Carla’s Mother, calling to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving.” Damn! I knew there was somebody I forgot to call!! We chatted for a bit and then, after we hung up, I went back to whisking.

I gradually added the flour slurry to the simmering broth, stirring with a whisk to incorporate. I added in 1/8 teaspoon of poultry seasoning and 1/8 teaspoon of fresh ground black pepper. I increased the heat to medium-high and brought it to a full boil. Once boiling, I cooked it three minutes or so until it thickened. According to the Family Circle recipe, you can test the thickness of the gravy by drawing your finger on the back of a wooden spoon. If a distinct line forms, the gravy is ready.

I went outside and checked and the temperature alarm was going off. So, I pitched the bacon and all the veggies onto the lawn for the wild things, put the turkey on a platter and took it inside.

I let it rest on the counter while I made my side dish. In a large skillet, I melted one tablespoon of butter and one tablespoon of extra-virgin olive oil together over medium-high heat. I added one cup of sliced baby Portobello mushrooms and cooked them until they begin to soften (about three to four minutes). Here’s where you would add the raw sliced leeks and a clove of minced garlic and cook until tender (about 3 minutes) But, since I had my leeks already sautéed, I just put in the garlic for three minutes and then threw in the leeks.

I added in 1/4 cup of vegetable broth, one tablespoon of heavy whipping cream, one teaspoon of fresh lemon juice and a pinch of salt. I cooked that for two minutes. Then I added two cups of fresh baby spinach and lowered the heat. I stirred the spinach frequently, until it wilted (about 2 minutes). I sprinkled in 1/4 cup of grated Parmesan cheese and stirred it all to combine.

I carved the turkey by cutting off both breasts and cutting two thick slices from one of them. I plated everything and began my feast. It was about that time I realized I never made my corn bread! You remember, the one I bought the mold for?

Instead of being upset, I just smiled. My Mother had a long history, back in the day when the whole family ate in the living room on the farm, of forgetting to make or forgetting to serve something. So, I guess I inherited her genes.

The results were as follows:

Turkey – best damn turkey I ever made! Not sure if it was the brine, the compound butter or the bacon, but it was moist, smoky and just delicious.

Gravy – too thin and, without the giblets or turkey drippings, it tasted like chicken gravy, not turkey.

Mashed potatoes and parsnips – excellent texture with just a hint of parsnips. Maybe one more parsnip would have been better or, maybe that would have made it too strong. Definitely a keeper recipe, though.

Cranberry Relish – Fantastic, even though I don’t normally like cranberry “relish” (I was raised on the canned jelly stuff). But, this was great!

Dressing – Fantastic as well! For just making it up, it tasted excellent.

Buttery Spinach and Mushrooms – Just so-so. I wish I’d gone with my original idea of making the peas and pearl onions again.

I ate way too much (I just had to go back for seconds). It was late enough that, after everything cooled and I put it away, then washed the pots and pans and ran a load in the dishwasher, I was still too full to even contemplate making my mixed berry dessert. Oh well, I still have three more days off…