Sunday' Story

I woke up at 6:30 a.m. on Sunday. I still felt tired, though, so I lounged in bed until my ex-Catholic guilt kicked in. Then I got up and ran through the Sunday morning routines, including stripping the bed and sticking the bedding in the wash. Oh, I refilled the pillbox and watered the dead bay leaf tree, wound the clock and so on…

I had the morning news on until 10:00 a.m. Then I switched to the radio and “Sunday Morning, Over Easy.” Well, I thought I was, but it wasn’t on! WTF? Please don’t tell me they dropped that show!!!

I finally shaved and showered. Then I addressed the burning concern of the day: Pot Roast!

Now, I saw this somewhere, but can’t prove it’s true. They said the best way to truly incorporate the flour into a roast was to flour it and then beat it with the side of a dinner plate. Um, okay… So, I did it.

Then I seared it in bacon grease (who doesn’t love bacon?) in my big-ass skillet and put it in the oval slow cooker.

Then I took a pound of carrots and a pound of parsnips and peeled them. I cut each of them in half and then into quarters. I cut the quarters into four-inch strips and threw them all in the slow cooker. I tossed in about a pound of button mushrooms and a sliced Vidalia onion as well.

I added two tablespoons of tomato paste to the skillet, along with a 1/4-cup of AP flour. I worked that together, and then added a 1/2-cup of white wine to deglaze the pan. I scraped up the brown bits and then added 1 1/2 cups of beef broth and a good slug of Worcestershire sauce. That all went into the slow cooker.

I went outside and harvested a handful of fresh thyme. I threw that, stems and all, in the slow cooker along with two bay leaves. I turned it on high and forgot about it.

Then I cleaned the house. I took the bedding out of the dryer and remade the bed. It looked inviting, so I took a nice nap.

I woke up and remembered the grass seeding effort. So, I went out back in the shed and got the empty seed bags and cleaned up the workbench. You gotta keep your shed clean, man! I filled the bird feeder and the squirrel feeder while I was out there.

I put the trash into the trashcan and then vacuumed the straw out of the trunk of the Volvo.

Carla called and we chatted for a while. After we hung up, I realized it was almost 6:30 p.m. and I hadn’t done a damn thing on the bike. Shit! I put up with that god-awful smell for two days for nothing??? But, it was dark and cold and I just didn’t feel like tackling it. I told you this would be a three-year project!

Instead, I boiled up five or six baby red potatoes until fork tender. I was making a side for my pot roast that my daughter, Amy, had posted on Facebook. It’s an Australian dish called Crash Hot Potatoes (hey, don’t ask me, mate, I don’t even know anybody from Australia! But, I do have a big knife.)

Anyway, I preheated the oven to 450 degrees F. (first time I felt warm today). I put some olive oil on a half sheet pan and put the potatoes in it. Using a potato masher, I flattened each potato to the thickness of a fat cookie. I drizzled each with olive oil and sprinkled on salt, pepper, minced garlic, fresh thyme and fresh chopped rosemary. I topped each potato with grated parmesan cheese and stuck them in the oven. I set the timer for 20 minutes.

Finally, it was time to eat. The pot roast was melt-in-your-mouth tender and the carrots and parsnips were excellent. I was unimpressed with the potatoes, though.

I watched a couple of taped shows (I couldn’t find anything interesting of TV). When things had cooled, I put everything away in the fridge and soaked the slow cooker. I went to bed at 11:00 p.m.