Saturday’s Story

I woke up at 6:30 a.m. on Saturday. It had been raining all night and was still raining then. I checked the rain gauge with my binoculars and there was already almost one inch of water in it. Since it’s supposed to rain steady until late Sunday, this did not bode well.

So, I watched the news until it was time to get ready. Then I shaved and showered, got dressed and headed out in the rain. Note to self: You should have worn a coat! Besides raining, it was damn cold!!!

So, I got a haircut. Then I went to Kroger’s for some supplies. I made the first (but not the worst) of my impulse buys: a box of Michigan strawberries. Why? I dunno. They looked good.

Then I went to the Feed Store and bought 40#s of bird seed. From there I went to Westborn. I wanted some onions. So, I bought a bag of them. But, I made three more impulse buys: a huge bunch of big, fat radishes, a big blueberry muffin and two thick, fat pork chops.

Then I went to Costco for some peanuts (for the squirrels) and coffee (for me). Unfortunately, they were either out of, or stopped carrying, the Caribou coffee I always buy. Now, I rarely have more than one cup of coffee each day at home, but I do enjoy it every morning. So, I hemmed and hawed over the other brands of K-Cups. I finally settled on Newman’s Own Special Blend. I only hope it does not disappoint…

Then I made the stupidest (maybe) impulse buy of the day: a 10-foot kayak. Now, those of you who read this Blog might remember, I wanted to buy one last year, but they were out of them. So, I researched kayaks and found the perfect one for me: a 12-foot fishing one, with three rod holders at Dick’s Sporting Goods. I figured I could use it on Newburgh Lake. But it was over $400.00 bucks, and didn’t come with a paddle. By the time I added in the paddle and an obligatory life vest, I was way over $500.00, so I passed.

But, today, they had them there again, with the paddle, for the same price: $299.99. So, I found a helpful sales associate and told her I wanted to buy one, but had no way to get it to the checkout or, worse yet, load it in the truck.

Sidebar: I am still hobbling around on my cane from the zoo walk. Note to self: Never, EVER, try and keep up with Puerto Ricans. They will kill you!

So, she got on the radio and, within minutes, two guys were there (with an undersized cart) to help me.

So, they piled my peanuts and coffee on the one end to stabilize it. It sorta helped. So, I offered to buy another bag of peanuts and one of the guys grabbed one. We made it to the checkout without incident.  Then my helpful (seriously) female store assistant pushed it through the line. I paid for it and she took it outside. She told me to bring the truck around, so I went and got it.

Sidebar: The wind had picked up at an unbelievable rate at that point. They said the gusts would be over 45 mph this morning and I believed them, now.

She asked me how I would get it unloaded and I reassured her my neighbor would help. Then two guys came and stuck it in the truck bed. I used some clamps and a strap to secure it and drove home.

I unloaded my stuff (minus the kayak and the bird seed in the truck bed), treated the cat and put everything all away. I walked next door and rang the bell (for help with the kayak) but nobody answered… Damn!

So, I thought about it and got the little gardening tractor seat. I muscled the box out of the truck and stuck one end on the seat.

Note: It’s not that heavy, only like 60 pounds. But that’s about 30 pounds more than I am supposed to lift.

So, I grabbed the other end and rolled it into the garage.

My driveway had a huge pool of water in it, so I took the old hoe I keep in the garage and dredged a channel for it to drain off. 

Sidebar for Jake (before he makes a joke): Yes, I have an old hoe in the garage. She’s the same one I used back on the farm as a kid in my Mother’s kitchen garden. I also have the pitchfork I stuck through my poor left leg back then when I was five years old. Every fall, I rub the handles with linseed oil (like my Dad did) and put them away for the winter.

That done, I opened the kayak box.

Cool! Now where the hell do I put it? I have three ongoing projects I can’t move. I know they sell hooks for the wall, but my garage walls are kinda full. Plus, how would I pick it up or get it down? Note to self: What the hell were you thinking, old man? I gave up thinking about it. I locked the truck, shut the garage door and went out back in the rain to give some peanuts to the squirrels.

By the time I got back inside, I was soaked (that wind was killer). I took off the wet duds and decided to take a nap. So, I did.

When I woke up, it was almost 3:00 p.m. I got up and made a cup of coffee (not the new stuff, one of the last of the old).

I decided that, since it was impossible to work outside and the garage was full, I’d thoroughly clean the house (it’s been a while). So, I got started. I quit just after 6:00 p.m. and had it about 1/3 done.

I warmed up the last of the pasta after adding the pasta sauce. I threw away the other chicken Parmesan breast, believing it’s been in the fridge too long. But, I didn’t think pasta or pasta sauce would go bad that quick.

I ate that (topped with Parmigiano Peggiano) watching the rest of the news. Then I switched to DIY shows until my 10:00 p.m. bedtime.

Well, I say that, but my nap messed with me, so I tossed and turned and I didn’t actually fall asleep until after 11:00 p.m.