From the book...

"The Devil knows you're dead" (a Matthew Scudder novel) by Lawrence Block:

"Afraid things would fall apart, because they always do. Afraid it would all end badly, because it always does. And afraid, perhaps more than anything, that when all was said and done it would all turn out to have been my fault. Because, somewhere down inside, somewhere deep in the blood and the bone, I believe it always is."