Thursday, violated...

I don't know if I mentioned this, but I bought a pull-behind fertilizer spreader for the tractor earlier this week. If you remember, after five+ years, I canceled my contract with Tru-Green Chem-Lawn this spring. But, in order to maintain the lawn, I need to put down a fall fertilizer application.

I saw on the web that Lowe's had one for $38.00 USD (in-store only). This was appealing, as a good brand (say, John Deere) costs between $150 - $250 USD. When I got there, they were out of them (of course) and the guy said they weren't getting anymore in as they wanted to use up the cheap stock and go with only the expensive stuff. But, they did have one left of the same manufacturers, but the next size up. It cost $68.00. It kinda pissed me off, because you could tell the box had been opened and then re-taped. But, the guy said that's the last one they had, and I could return it if I wasn't happy with it. So, knowing it's the season for them, I bought it.

Well, today, I went home and put that spreader together. I opened up the box and found there were no instructions! So, I went to their web site and (thankfully) they had one online. I had to download and print a 14 page instruction booklet and parts list (half of which was in Spanish and I could have not bothered printing had I looked at it first). But, I printed it all. At least I found the booklet, and all the parts were there. Though, some of them were doubles, too (not just extra nuts and bolts, but pieces of the frame!) Why? I dunno. Maybe they combined two returned ones or something.

I got it together, but then ran into a snag with the spreader. It says in the manual before I use it, to check the Spreader Setting Sheet. I didn't get one of those, either! And, they don't have one on the website. So, I emailed them asking for one.

Meanwhile, I went inside and applied the first coat of grout sealer. Now, according to the bottle, this will prevent staining, mold, fungus, mildew, athlete's foot, syphilis, and damn near anything from screwing up my tile. I had to laugh when I opened the bottle: its white water! And, like water, it's hard to apply without dripping it. But, I did the best I could and then wiped the adjacent surfaces with warm water. I waited the prescribed 5 minutes and then wiped everything dry (trashing one of my few remaining kitchen towels). I now have at least one hour before I put on the second coat.

So, it's back to the fertilizer. Why is this so important tonight when I was finishing up the tile and can have my sink and dishwasher back, soon, you might ask? I'll tell you. It's supposed to rain off and on starting tomorrow and continuing throughout the weekend. So, if I don't get it done tonight, it will be a while. So, now is NOW!

So, without the Spreader Setting Sheet, I went back to basic mathematics. My front yard is approximately 45' x 73 minus the 24 foot wide driveway. So, I figured 45 x 50 =2250 square feet. Since the bag of fertilizer is supposed to cover 15,000 square feet, it should take 15% of the bag to do the front yard. 15% of a 46 pound bag of fertilizer would be just less than 7 pounds.

I got my bathroom scale out. I took a clean trash container and, after allowing for tare weight, got 7 pounds of fertilizer. I put the mower with the spreader attached on a flat spot in the front lawn, put in the seven pounds of fertilizer, dialed in "4" and started off. When I was done with the front, I still had maybe 1/4 of the fertilizer left. So, I went back over it until it was all gone.

I refilled the hopper with the rest of the fertilizer, changed the setting to "6" and went in the back. It was then I made a discovery that has left me both angry and sad!

This morning before I left for work, I noticed my back gate was opened. So, I walked out in back and looked around. Hmmm... St. Francis, the young Shaolin monk and both Buddha's were still there. So was Jake and Carla's birdbath, my trailer and the sail boat. Odd... but I went to work. Well, tonight I solved the mystery. Somebody stole my hammock!

I was upset, but I finished the backyard. There was only about an inch of fertilizer left in the hopper when I was done, BTW. So, "6" is the setting. When I got back inside, I found I had an email from the spreader manufacture that said:

Agri-Fab no longer has a "spreader setting" chart as the seed and fertilizer manufacturers change their recommended settings constantly.

A good rule of thumb is:

3 for a light coverage
4 for a medium coverage and the lawn has been treated previously
5 for a heavy coverage or infestation of crabgrass

Please note this is a guide line only. We always ask that you do a test pattern on a driveway or level ground to check dispersal.

So, I would have had to do it by trial and error, anyway.

I put the second coat of sealer on the tile and grout. Again, I waited 5 minutes and then wiped everything dry (trashing another kitchen towel). I checked the clock and it was 9:20 PM.

I heated up a can of Hormel chili with beans and topped it with shredded cheddar cheese. I ate that and went to sleep, burping.